So I had this dream
there were a bunch of us floating downstream in this really deep but calm river (dream = no arm floaties). We were about to get out of the river when a HUGE alligator appeared right in front of us.
Now here’s the part that shocked me: I assumed Stephanie was also frantically swimming toward the edge to run for her life, but when I turned around she was straddling this monster and holding its head against her chest! WTF? She appeared to have the situation under control (because my baby has some pretty nice balls when she needs to), but when I turned back around there was a much smaller alligator annoying the shit out of me, nipping at my legs and whatnot.
I flopped it over and started rubbing its belly (where did Steph go?) until it fell asleep. The damn thing kept waking up and I just wanted a park ranger or somebody to save the day!
Realizing that blood was squirting out of my neck in a nice rhythmic pattern, I ran like fucking nuts into a crowd of people and NOBODY even acknowledged me! Finally someone called 911 and they showed up in about 5 minutes.
Moral of the story? Let’s get the fuck outta Florida.
